Institution of Marriage

Why are we so afraid to get married? This week I have been doing
a five-part series on topics features in the hit movie “He’s Just
Not That Into You.” Today’s topic is about those of us who fear
marriage. How we spend ions with someone yet we never want to
take it to the next level?

In the movie, Neil and Beth have been are in a long-term
relationship. In which Neil has become so complacent that
marriage is not even an afterthought anymore. If ain’t broke
don’t fix it is his mental state on his romance with Beth. Beth
has grown tired of this long-term romance and informs Neil that
she would like to profess their love for one another over vows in
front of their dear friends and family. Neil is terrified he does
not want to get married. He contemplates on the end of a marriage
instead of the beginning of one. Although he does not desire
anyone else and is quite content with his current arrangement he
knows he will lose Beth and ponders whether his fear of marriage
trumps her longing to be his wife. Love prevails and they are
married.

I know that I am not alone with this fear of commitment that a
marriage entails. I fear being with someone for the rest of my
life. What if they get bored with me? What if I get bored with
them? What if either of us cheats? In my eyes the vows of
marriage are sacred I am not only saying them to my husband but
God is listening as well. I am making promises that I will be
held to the highest standard to keep. Commitment has always been
a scary thing for me. So marriage is like going from a
rollercoaster to skydiving to me. I will admit I have a phobia of
commitment. A deep-seeded one no one has ever committed to me so
I feel like why should I bother committing to them? Marriage is
sacred and I do not want to try and fake the funk with God. I do
not want to tell him to death do us part and the first sign of
trouble we are battling it out in divorce court. Or, one of us
gets to sick and the other one gives up all hope. Adultery seems
so commonplace now I feel like if I get married I should expect
to be cheated on.

Commitment can be a scary thing yet it does not mean I do not
want to ever get married. I just am consumed by fear, the fear of
it not working out. Too many people are in love with the wedding
and not willing to work at the marriage. As soon as trouble
strikes all hell breaks loose. People stop talking and starting
walking to the nearest attorney’s office to dissolve the
marriage.  We need to be friends first. We need to learn to love
properly ourselves first then love our mate. Learn to work
together in this thing called love. Remember there is no I in
team.

Learn to love and trust enough to know that things will work out
for the better. Have faith in one another. Faith that through
trials and tribulations there will be triumph. Fear has a way of
paralyzing you and prohibited to walk through the fire together.
Do not fear love for it is meant for your happiness. Instead fear
never loving someone enough to devote your life and love to them.
Marriage is a beautiful union to be shared by two loving people.
Two strong loving people. Take that walk down the aisle.

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