Lonely Only

Am I the only one who really hates being the single friend
sometimes? Sometimes I want to hang with my girls but they are
busy with their man. I do not mind sharing but once they become
committed it seems as though they sign over all rights to girls’
night. I barely seem them anymore. Should I now find a batch of
single friends?

I do understand that when people get involved the dynamic of
their friendship changes. I also know that now someone else will
rank higher than me as a friend. Since your mate in most cases is
or should be your best friend. It seems that once they get
involved they become selfless when it comes to their mate and
what their mate wants trumps all else. Make you wonder what
happens to their me time. If you are consumed with your mate how
do you have time to see yourself?

To be honest it makes me a little fearful of approaching a new
relationship. Will I be that girl all caught up in my man? Where
I find myself forgetting the sanctity of lunch or after work time
with the ladies? Where we shoot the breeze about the kids, jobs,
goals, and yes men. I am not even talking male bashing. Just
random conversations I really miss that. I miss my girls. I love
the intimacy of our time together the relief of being myself
around people I know and love.

I often wonder do men have this same single friend complex. When
their boy gets involved do guy’s night cease. I wonder if men
sacrifice their friendship for their girls. It seems women are
receptive to the idea of blowing off her girls to hang with her
boo. Do guys put their girl before their boys? In some instances
they do but I guess it depends on the man though and his maturity
level. Fools tend to put their boys first. It often seems one
sided to me my guy friends and their boys seems to have business
as usual whether or not they are in a relationship.

Women seem to isolate themselves from their friends, calls become
infrequent if at all, and public appearances become a rarity. You
have to go directly to her just to make the half way mark. I
respect your relationship but can you respect our friendship. Is
our friendship conditional? Are we only together when he ceases
to exist or when he is not around for the moment? Can I get some
of your time and attention? I am tired of doing battle I will
gracefully bow out if necessary.

Makes you wonder if the friendship only lasts when neither of you
are attached. I love seeing my girls happy with their boo. I just
wish they would part ways long enough so we can have some
downtime. I miss you guys is what I am saying. I can share you it
is not a problem. I cannot idly sit by while you are hanging with
me when you really want to be with your boo. I would rather you
go with your boo and we hang another time. Just because you have
someone does not mean they have to monopolize your time. It is
important to maintain your identity outside of the relationship.
Remember your mate compliments not completes you. You are two
individuals who shared a common bond. Love each other enough to
miss each other sometimes. Spend time with your friends they need
you too.


3 thoughts on “Lonely Only

  1. I’ve been the single guy in my group of friends for awhile now. At first it was ‘ok’. But after awhile you begin to feel like the third or fifth wheel. Most times I can have fun regardless, but other times it’s obvious it was meant to be a ‘date night’.

    I can also attest to a decrease in ‘guy’s night’. But I can completely understand though. I once was the one in a relationship while my friends were single. They would accuse me of not hanging out with my boys and always putting my girlfriend first. Having gone through that I never give my friends a hard time about hanging with their girls. It’s not a big deal. If anything it just motivates me to go on more dates or hang out more often with some of my female friends.

    In the end…there are pros and cons…you just have to know how to adapt to the situation.

  2. Sometimes it is just that….the girl just consumes herself with that man. I’ve never seen a guy do it though. But I think these people need to learn balance….until then, nothing will change

  3. I remember when I was dating a certain someone, I slowed down my “girl’s night”…it wasn’t bad where as I would never go out. I got flack a little..that was until my friends got a man…then they wanted to stop going out all together…smdh..

    I think you just find that going out isn’t all that’s crack up to be, plus there is too much temptation.

    Now I’m single…and I still calmed down on the going out…

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