Single By Choice or Bad Choices?

Lately ladies I have been wondering why so many of us are single. Is it really by choice? I always say when asked why am I single that it is a conscious choice I have made. Yet if I am honest with myself it is a result of choices I made. You see ladies in our twenties we play around a lot and do not take dating seriously. We date so much that when even settle for foolery such as cheating, lying, and even abuse in some extreme cases. Mr.  Right is looking on and observing what we do for if he chooses us he has to deal with decisions we make.  He does not most cases want to deal with your bad decisions so he dismisses you immediately. Now your left to fend for yourself off in the world without a mate to help you defeat all the madness in the world.

You have to arm yourself out here in the world with knowledge and common sense no man is going to want a woman who does not have it together. Plain and simple. Sure you can do bad by yourself but do you really want to. I can admit in the past I made some poor choices and it has a lot of impact on why I am single for five years. I was single and mingling and got caught up with some characters along the way. So caught up I could not distinguish between the man who genuinely cared for me and the one who could care less. I had a gentleman I was seeing just my type, good conversation, and passionate among many other great attributes. Anyway I made a mistake so many of us women make I slept with him too soon and dismissed as just a sex toy. I never took him seriously I just automatically assumed he dismissed me too. I can’t keep making mistakes like this or Mr. Right will never be checking for me.

Ladies we have to practice more respect for ourselves. If you give up so easy you ain’t fooling him if you did it then, then you probably would again. We have to take it back to what our mothers and if you were blessed fathers taught you. Stop demanding respect from him when you do not give it to yourself. You cannot get what you do not give yourself. He doesn’t want a woman who does not value herself for how can he ever value you. He needs you to be a strong woman all on your own that means mentally, physically, and spiritually. You two have to be equally yoked. You will never meet Mr. Got it Together while you are still getting it together.

Ladies respect yourself and he will respect you. You will be found once you pull it together. Learn to love yourself and show compassion for you. He wants a woman who is happy someone he can compliment not complete.

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3 thoughts on “Single By Choice or Bad Choices?

  1. I agree, both men and women make poor dating decisions in there early twenties. Unfortuntately, women are judged differently based on their past. An elite man isn’t going to want to date a women who doesn’t value herself or has too much “mileage’ on her. Your final point is also true, you can not go after a man has put in the work to get himself together if you have not done so as well. As Lyfe Jennings said “You can’t be a nickle searching for a dime” Real Talk

  2. I’m on the fence about this. I think sometime depending on the person we can choose to be single.

    I’m not gonna sit here and say I have it all together. But one of my male friends says I have what men are looking for but some men get scared by the way I am…in a sense. Meaning I don’t take shit…I know I deserve better.

    I work and take care of home. I don’t need a man, but I would like one. I value my self worth… I’m patiently waiting for my “prince charming”. But while I’m waiting Im working on myself.

  3. Great post. A lot of great points and knowledge within it. I do believe choices that we all make have a lot to do with our dating experiences. They definitely have impact. Some for better and some for worst.

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