Celibacy like love is a term that is used loosely. People always shouting how they are celibate and as soon as they meet “the right one” they are giving away their cookies. Let’s first determine what the term celibate means one who abstains from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows. You know the term I am saving it for marriage. A six month drought does not make you celibate.
We also need to reflect on why we are taking the vow of celibacy. I was having a conversation with a friend that made me rethink the celibacy thing. I have been claiming celibacy for a minute now I had to question my own motives. I guess when I think about it I am not celibate I am just abstinent until I meet Mr. Right. I wish I could be noble and say I am waiting till marriage but I cannot lie to myself. Celibacy sounds so final while abstinence gives you room for the occasional moment of weakness.
It is hard being celibate temptation is all around you. Yet celibacy can teach you a lot about yourself and others. It teaches you discipline and self respect learning to value your body as a temple and not just anyone should gain access. It clears your head no sex takes the pressure off of you. Now you can really clearly get to experience a person without being physical. I am trying to teach myself I am worth the wait. I have done the one night stand and friends with benefits thing but now I want something more meaningful so I got off my back and decided to stand up for myself. Celibacy or abstinence whatever you want to call it has given me a sense of freedom and I have earned back some respect. I would always be a FWB never the girlfriend. You get tired of being sidelined. If I can’t be number one, I won’t be number two.
I am learning through dating that men aren’t so receptive of the idea of dating a woman who is celibate. They know from the door there is nothing happening. Either this is deterrence or encourages them to try and tempt you. You have to be strong in your spot. I must admit it takes a little getting used to dating without sex. But at the end of the night and the next day I still feel whole. I don’t know about you but I need to feel right with myself. It is not easy lately I have been burning with desire but I have to curb that. I have to stop sexting to get my fix. Guilty as charged. A wise woman told me you have to watch those types of conversations for they will tempt you. Once the thought surfaces it is hard to suppress.
You have to keep yourself out of physical situations don’t allow that massage to go down. Clothes coming off he will not take you seriously about being celibate. If you want him you have to wait. Waiting benefits you both you need to have a strong foundation in place to build up a health relationship. Celibacy allow you to really examine what you want in a mate. Through dating and practicing celibacy you weed out a lot of the riff raff. You develop a better appreciation for your body celibacy enables you to respect your body more. Be more attentive to who you let in. It also helps you develop a healthy zest for sex you are more in tune with what you want sexually.
Whether you are celibate or abstinent remain true to that. No matter what your reasoning implement some stick-to-itiveness. You don’t have to announce it to the world but you don’t have to hide it either.