Hello there Loverz Quarrel audience I am starting a series on dating with children. I will touch on the different aspects of dating with children. Such as fathers who date, or mothers who find the father becomes an absentee father when the significant other comes into play. The second topic I will touch on is the “Superman Syndrome” I mentioned in a previous post.
As a single mom you encounter all types of men. There is the man who will date you for six months. Then explain how he can no longer date you because you have a child and he doesn’t date women with children or he will have nothing to do with your child at all. I have experienced my share yet she has only met a few. I am not comfortable parading various suitors in front of my daughter. The woman I want her to be I have to be. Lead by example. I take my role very seriously.
As her mother I have experienced dating men who suffer from the Superman Syndrome those who look at me as a damsel in distress with a child. They want to rescue me and my child from our unfortunate life of despair. They are so focused on saving me and my daughter that they do not connect with us. Don’t get me wrong I had someone who I adored who was a father to my daughter. He was already a father of two so he fit right in. He did not force himself on me either like men with the Superman Syndrome do. They are not sincere with trying to fit in with your life. They are trying to prove so much that they prove themselves to be disposable. No woman wants to feel like a charity case.
Now we respect the empathy you display for our situation. Even if you sympathize with us but we don’t want or need your pity. We have been managing just fine without your pity party. I hope this does not sound callous because I understand some men want to be our knight and shining armour. But really try to genuinely connect do not come in with any hidden agendas just be yourself and we will accept you for it. Don’t play the superhero for that will be your downfall.
Ladies we are guilty of this complex as well. When your trying to rescue a single father. It is a major turn-off when you are trying to hard to impress the kids instead of connecting with them. This is grounds for dismissal. As with the men, ladies be sincere in your motives. Children can decipher pretentiousness a mile away.
Be sincere please honesty is always the best policy. Dating someone with chidren is not any easy feat. There are many facets you will be faced with. Take them in stride. No hidden agendas just purely set your focus on setting a strong foundation that will not falter under pressure