Odd Man Out

I come from a big family where I am the oldest and every now and again I feel left out. I also long to be somebody’s favorite. Out of sall my siblings I am often overlooked. Nobody is wondering what is Nye doing let’s see what’s up with her. They always feel  I am anti-sociable but it is ot that I don’t feel apart of the mix and haven’ t felt apart of the mix ffora while. I feel a major disconnect within my family and among my friends.

I wonder is it really me since I like to isolate and be by myelf . I do not feel connected at this point. It feels as though no one really cares if I am there or not. My reality may be distorted since I am in emotion mind. I get trapped there sometimes. Maybe I am bein anti-social because I don’t feel welcomed anymore. I have to iniate contact and force my way in. That is not how I operate I hate to be somewhere that I am not wanted.

I used to feel connected but lately I am clinging to my daughter and Mom for comfort. Just been feeling real alone lately. I guess this is geting it out since I have trouble verbalizing how I feel. I keep everything to myself. Can’t help feeling I am airing our dirty laundry but it is how I feel. This is how I express myself through written word. 

I just want to fit in among my own family and friends> when I call stop acting as if I am getting on your nerves otherwise I won’t call anymore. I do not force myself onto people.

Are you feeling left out? Do you want to belong? Share yourthoughts down below.

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6 thoughts on “Odd Man Out

  1. Wow! This post is right on time. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling the same way. The holiday yesterday just confirmed if for me.

    I understand it’s the holiday, Thanksgiving, and I’m suppose to be thankful for my family and friends. But it irks me when I see people once or twice a year and they try to pretend that everything is cool and we are so close. If you never call me and we never talk outside of holidays how are we suppose to be close. How am I not suppose to feel detached to people I barely communicate with. But I get labeled as antisocial and ungrateful because I feel like I’m surrounded by strangers.

    I can count on ONE hand the people that I’ve talked to within the last SIX months. Those are the people closest to me. They are the one’s who call me and see how I’m doing. I feel like the rest of the people don’t care and I know it’s some truth to that.

    I don’t mean to come on your blog and vent, but this post really expressed how I’ve been feeling. I see that I’m not alone. If you ever need or want to talk to someone you can feel free to contact me. Just email me (up4dsn@yahoo.com)

    Stay blessed and have an amazing day!

      • Same here. I can be a loner sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I want to be lonely. Sometimes we just desire time by ourselves. Other times we just want to know that other people care. Or at least that is how I feel from time to time.

  2. Speaking as your little sister. Sometimes we (I) try to include you in (i.e. the get together at my house) and you seperated yourself from us. Stuff like that makes us not want to invite you because you do that. No one pushed you away you willingly went.

    I think you get lost in your thoughts and feel left out when I know thats not my intention. Try opening up…it helps!

    Love Ya!!

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