Shy Sista

Are you an undercover wallflower? Often accused of being anti-social, then you must know me well. My friends and family cannot stand how socially inept I am. I really try to push myself to be more sociable but I get caught up in my own head. Worried what others think of me or panicking thinking they are saying negative things about me.

I am painfully shy and will sit back in the cut even at family functions. I am always so self-conscious and peep everyone to see who says something negative about me. Not that I am bold enough to say anything but to prove to myself that people are always talking about me. Because in my head it is all about me negative things of course. Never anything positive!

Well Saturday was a big test for me I tried to get my family and friends to come out with me so I could feel comfortable. No go! So I rode to the bowling alley with one of my bosses for the paper I write for. It was a quiet ride of course with an occasionally sprinkle of my favorite reggae jams. But I could not bump, dance, or sing to it around him my shyness kicked in. We get to the bowling alley and I play shy sister for a while. I was working the door for a while nervous as hell did not want to mess up anyone’s money. When the women started spilling in I got extra nervous. Women intimidate me. Especially the ones I do not know.

Something had to give one of my bosses walked over and asked me would I like to bowl I said yes. After I started bowling my shyness went away I even found myself conversing and laughing with everyone around me. I wasn’t nervous about my outfit or my crazy socks anymore. I let my hair down completely. My game was even good I bowled two strikes. I took pics with ease just told them not to get my shoes (bowling shoes do not go with leggings, lol). I mean I had a really good time I guess now I cannot be so quiet and shy at meetings anymore.

I say that to say this stop sweating you so much. You owe it to yourself to have a good time everywhere you go. Stop being conceited it is not all about you. Sometimes people are trying to have a good time believe or not and aren’t thinking about your crazy socks. They just want to help you have a good time. Take it from me I felt incredible Saturday, confident, dare I say sexy (yes with my crazy socks), I felt pretty and happy all in one. Thanks guys!


3 thoughts on “Shy Sista

  1. Great post! I know the feeling. I’ve had to deal with shyness and being more social too. It does usually turn out well when you decide to take a chance and just go with the flow. Like you said, it’s all about getting out of your own head and just having a good time.

    • Thanks! It is hard but I will bask in the small victories for now. Shyness is often a sign of insecurity in my case anyway. I am not confident in my look which makes me retreat especially around women who are confident. I cannot fake it till I make it. I have to be me and be secure with me. I have a welcoming personality very down to Earth. A pleasure to be around and I can make you laugh as well as smile. I have to showcase those qualities at all times.

  2. I for one am proud of you… cuz since your my sister I find myself not wanting to invite you anywhere becuase u hide away and think the worst when it not even like that.

    You make your self stand out being the one who pulls away! So take that in to consideration.

    Glad you had fun!!

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