February 5, 2011 will mark the 6th year of my single life. Now mostly I would like to celebrate my singlehood I would be less than honest if I said I did not miss the warm embrace or that rub of reassurance on my back to make me aware of the fact everything will be just fine. It is times like these I reflect on what having a man means.
I know the people closest to me will say you don’t need a man. My response to them would be I did not say I needed a man I just miss having one. Sure I can walk around like being single is the end all to be all. Yet when I go home at night and lie in bed alone I long for a man laying next to me. Especially on the long and hard days. Can I have a humble moment and long for a companion? I have not lost my focus on my priorities. It is just I had an embrace this morning that I have not experience in a while. It made me temporarily feel safe and secure even if only for a moment.
Why does wanting a man mean you are losing sight of your goals? Yet the same people spouting at you how you don’t have anyone have someone. Is it ironic? As I write this tears fall in frustration for a friend of mine just does not understand how my heart aches for someone in my life to be there for me and mine. I know my priorities stop throwing that in my face. I am merely discussing a fleeting thought. Priorities do not make desires dissipate. I am not in a rush to have a man but it is funny how people who have someone can say oh stop worrying about a man. I am not worried I now he is out there and I am getting myself together so he can see me clearly without any baggage in the way.
Just like committed people often long for singlehood, single people often long to be committed. I have certain desires and needs. Playing the single role does not satisfy all my needs. I can’t get no satisfaction. I have decided that I have the desire but I have to have the qualities that will attract my type of man. I cannot be pressed about who he is and when he will come until I get my shit together. Point blank period. We have to be equally yoked.
Anyone out there missing having a companion? Tired of being berated by your non-single friends for you desire to have someone? Share your thoughts below.