How does it feel to be traded in for a newer model? How do you handle that? He wanted you but you did not want him now you want him and he wants her. Fate is funny that way. I walked into a room with two other women today surrounding a guy I like. He openly invited us all to join a chat. The vibe in the room was tense you could tell everyone was trying to determine who the other women were and how they were linked to him. I peeped the scene when I walked in so I was good I say his PYT and she was cute and on point. She was a straight shooter asking who was who while never stating who she was. Her silence made it clear it was more that obvious she was the Alpha female of this pack.
Though she said very little her silence spoke volumes. I respected her position could not be mad not even jealous. The way he interacted with her made it clear who he really wanted to see. We were mere background stand-ins if you will for their photograph. Kissed and dismissed just like that. The being traded feeling is one that is uncomfortable. It is a fit that often sags at first you never really make it an adjustment to it.
She was more than enough competition she sized us up as we did her. I thought it was cute to be honest I did not back down at all. She knew who I was it was apparent but I made it clear that I too had moved on. He took it all in grace loving this interaction. He of course was the Alpha male. I could tell my confidence has grown normally I would declare insecurity and go wallow in defeat in a corner. But I stood proud and tall I could have had him but I let him slip away. I created my own demise. Had I given him a chance I too would be grinning from ear to ear. I too could caress his face as if nothing else even mattered to me. Yet I was not uncomfortable at all he looked happy and that was good because he deserves to be. Good men are hard to find and are often overlooked.
Sometimes I want to kick myself in the butt for overlooking quality men. I overlook them for foolish reasons i.e., too short, afraid of what others will think of us; and not allowing him to get to close afraid of being hurt, or I am not ready or do not think I deserve a good man. I never think I am too good quite contrary I often believe I am not good enough. Always been afraid to let him in fearing if he really knew me he couldn’t possibly love me.
It all goes back to being secure and safe in who you are as a person. I tend to seek outward validation versus look deep inside of me for it. I am never satisfied and will never be satisfied with anyone until I am satisfied with myself. It is time to show and prove to me that I am worthy of love starting with love from myself.
I can honestly say I compete with me everyday not with other women for often I do not feel I am a worthy adversary. I could not go to toe with any woman for I will gracefully bow out and declare defeat even when I am winning. Can you stand the heat or do you run from the kitchen? What would you do if he replaced you and you met her? What would you say? Or not say? Share your thoughts below.