Do you love who you are? Do you love yourself enough to try dating just you? I am seriously considering dating me. I mean let’s be honest if you want someone else to date you one would think you have some redeemable qualities. Are you worthy of you? This is not a rhetorical question and I want you to dig deep for the answer. If I was asked to answer that question I would reply with a big fat NO! I say that because I do not take enough time out and focus on just me.
Two weeks ago I was at GPS at Cafe International and a woman did a poem in which she told her boyfriend she had other plans for the night. Which was not totally a lie she wanted to take time out for herself. She wanted to connect with herself the way she connected with him. She wanted to make herself dinner as she would do for him. It had me thinking maybe I should enact a rule in the dating playbook to take time out to learn how to date me.
I never focus on me I always aim and focus on him. My goal is to please him. Sadly enough I was at a toy party recently and had to self-reflect fine time for that it was an option between two books. Tickle His Pickle or Tickle Your Fancy, a book about pleasing yourself. I really struggled with this a single woman contemplating pleasing a mysterious man over myself. It was clear I needed to connect with me. So I purchased Tickle Your Fancy, I am still struggling to read it. I am distracting myself away from me as usual. I am so good at this. What a sad state of affairs!
I cannot even master something so simple as pleasing just me and I do not just mean sexually. I mean participate in self care. Fixing my hair up putting on my stilletos and taking sexy pics for just me and no one else. Look in the mirror and tell myself damn you are gorgeous. Get up onstage at GPS and rock that mic like the champ I know I am. I have to get in tune with my star player. For her light has been dim for so long it combust never to shine ever again.
I have to look and feel fabulous by my standards not yours. I have to accept that I am beautiful. I have to accept that yes in the past I was picked on for not meeting a certain standard of beauty. I have to GET OVER IT! I am too cute to be walking around dazed and confused because I am still seething from nightmares from my past. When the song Pretty Girl Rock comes on I have to rock too. Not say what do us ugly girls do? So it is time to date me. Tonight I think I will draw me a nice bath and have some aroma therapy. I will give myself a rub down. I know it seems trivial but I have to start somewhere. I think I will work on a poem I am been thinking of on self-love.
Just imagine if you questioned and over-analyzed every glance, smile, smirk and giggle in a negative light. I have to accept it is not all about me. Everyone’s conversation is not a forum on me. I have to get out my head and into my heart. I know I use this blog as a platform for relatonship issues but I think I need to work on a relationship with me first. I have never done that. In my life I am starting a new beginning a wise man told me you have to invest in yourself. I have been doing that in a financial aspect but I lack the most important aspect which is the emotional piece.
So bear with me every now and again maybe more often than not my blog is going to be about me falling in love with me. I hope this does not bore you and turn you off. I pray that it challenges you to delve within and explore you a little more. I hope it will teach you the importance of quality time with you. Teach you to look in the mirror without judgement and smile.
Do you struggle with learning to love you? Are you single and trying to reconnect with you? Share your thoughts below.