Role Reversal Gone Wrong

Has the man lost his role as provider? Has the woman truly taken over and dominated that role? Are men secure enough to handle the woman being the breadwinner? Or is there some resentment in that type of competition?

Today I was hanging out with an old friend and he asked me to take him out to breakfast. No problem I do not mind treating a man I am not above paying. So we are hanging out and jokingly he says it is your turn to start coming out of pocket to spend time with me. Initially, I was appalled I mean how audacious to think I have to pay for his time and attention. Yet I thought about how we as women will tell a man quick run me my money when it is really their money. In many eyes the man should be the provider and if he is not what good is he to us.

Originally, I thought that I was going to write about a woman paying for a man’s love and affection. But as I delved deeper I realized that the role reversal has gone wrong and the man as the provider has lost its luster. Many men have gotten too comfortable with allowing us to be the breadwinner. In my experience recently I have been looked at as a meal ticket and I do not like it at all. Granted I am in a good position to pull my weight with a man but I refuse to be the provider that is not a role I am comfortable portraying. For my daughter yes for a man hell no. Maybe I have not evolved enough as a woman to find that to be acceptable.

I cannot pay your rent and mine or buy you a pair of shoes when my baby needs a pair herself. As you all can tell this exchange conjured up a distrubing reaction. I will speak for myself a man should be a provider not me. I will meet him halfway because I believe we should be equally yoked. I prefer not to date men that make less than me neither of us is comfortable with me making the most money. I like a man to be a man at the risk of sounding chauvnistic.

I just don’t understand how a man can allow a woman to lead solo when it comes to finances. I need your input and your half of the money. I refuse to carry all the weight and proudly claim you as my man. As a sidenote he reminded me about the tip without contributing to it he is working his way to the do not call list for that one. One has to wonder when did this role reversal occur. Granted successful women are sexy but not as partners. A man needs to feel needed by his woman. If she is the breadwinner what does she need him for besides sex and they have B.O.B.’s for that.

Please excuse the rant but I firmly believe that we should collectively lead. And occassionally he can take on that role all on his own. I do not wish to lead the household because in all honesty I will look at him as less of a man. Damn I cannot believe I just said that in this independent woman society. They are going to revoke my independent card for that shit. Here I will surrender it now.

Ladies and gentleman are you comfortable with the woman being the breadwinner? Would you feel insignificant men if she made more money than you? Share your thoughts below!


10 thoughts on “Role Reversal Gone Wrong

  1. Traditionally it is a man’s duty and responsibility to be the provider and head of the household because that is the epiphany of a true man. I also believe in a woman being a good Co- Captain and able to assume mantle as Captain if I was to become laid off or come across harsh times. I wouldn’t fill inferior to a woman making more money than me because where all working towards the same goal, as a man I see this from a logical prospective because my main goal is finding a woman worthy of being invested with a championship ring so once we become as one she will be my Queen and I’ll be her King and together we can conquer this realm together.

    • I agree with you IronHeart we should be co-captain on the ship called love wrestling through the rough seas of life. I can work with you I just refuse to be the only one working. I cannot carry the both of us forever and I would not expect him to do so. There is no I in team or relationships. We have to work hand in hand for our survival. Like the song says, I am a movement by myself, and a force when we’re together. I am good all by myself but you make me better. If I want to struggle I could do that solo. I want a man who will lead. I do not feel comfortable leading I will assist but will not fully take on the role.

  2. I personally believe that the man should be the head of the household. There’s nothing wrong with a woman paying for a meal or outing every once in awhile, that’s why relationships are suppose to have balance. Yet, at the end of the day the man should, in my opinion, be the primary provider.

  3. I’m with IronHeart

    I don’t mind playing Co Captian of the ship…if my captian should fall, I would carry the weight until is back! But there are some men, who feel a certain type of way towards women who make more than them.

    I say step ya game up if you feel that way!

    • I do not mind helping I just cannot carry him for the duration of our relationship. I cannot see myself providing and him just taking doling out sex as payment for my services. Not cool at all. We both have to pull our weight or pull away from one another.

  4. Unfortunately, some men feel no shame in allowing a woman to pay frequently for dinners, drinks, etc. The world is not the same as it was even 20 years ago. Women are making more money and women are more independent than our mothers were. There is nothing wrong with either paying for a meal, or drinks, or whatever, as long as it’s equal. Otherwise, you will end up feeling used, and likely you are right.

    • That is exactly it no one wants to be used. Love me don’t use me. I do not respect a man who finds it advantageous who can take from me and not be willing to give back to the pot. I went out on a date once where I paid for the meal and when it was time for the tip he put down a dollar and then took it back yet told me how much the tip should be. Needless, to say he did not get a call back.

  5. Loved this piece. I told you I was gonna be all over your blog. Just read the last article in “The City”! Awesome! Well, I tend to agree with the article. I admit, I’m not one to shy away from paying. In fact, most times, I prefer to go dutch, that way, I dont feel like I owe anybody anything… but lately.. its getting ridiculous. I don’t mind going dutch with a friend that I only see as a friend. However, if you’re sincerely interested in me, its only fair that you pay. I guess it all boils down to, who’s asking who. If I ask you out… I got you. If you’re trying to sweep me off my feet, well, you might as well start by paying the bill when I go powder my nose.. lol. My motto, you pay for meals/dates now… if it works out.. I cook your meals later. Think of it as an investment. 😉

    • I love that theory. Our relationship is an investment. The time and energy you spend courting me will be worth it. Dutch seems good especially since who is paying is always an issue these days. We are not courting like we used to. First, he pays, at least I think he still does that, and then after that fend for yourself ladies. Chilvary is nearly extinct and people are caught up in the power of the almighty dollar. It can make or break you these days. Maybe we can find something more economical to do or go somewhere for free since it is a recession. Let’s stay together by working with one another.

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