When you meet someone are you immediately being shoved in the potential sex partner category? Which of course takes you out of the running for a potential partner? Why do you think this is occurring?
Often we send signals out saying the words our mouths refuse to utter. Each man’s criteria for his potential partner varies. Yet the requirement for a potential sex partner is the same a warm spot and a pulse. Now don’t get me wrong it is imperative that the man you date be attracted to you on all levels. Yes sexual attraction is a pertinent level. Yet, it is discouraging when he thinks that is all you have to offer.
When we meet a man we often tell him too much and he tells us very little. We ask direct questions yet his answers are often vague and misleading. Don’t say what you think I want to hear, when I need the truth. Do not mask your intent once you hear my expectations. Men and women say the same thing but the meaning differs slightly. When we say I am looking for a friend often it means I want to be friends first and work our way into something more if we connect that way. Men agree to this “friend” business often with the intent we can give them the benefits of a relationship without being stigmatized by a title.
A non-committed situation is ideal to them. Do they not realize how insulting it is to be pigeon-holed like that? It is like look at all these wonderful qualities I am offering you and all you want is sex. Ladies often we confuse our lust with a false connection. Yes if he is holding you and caressing you the libido begins to boil over. There is a strong desire not necessarily a connection. A man can detach himself emotionally and still long for you physically. We confuse that warm, fuzzy feeling we feel when he is caressing us with a strong, deeper meaning. He quite possibly be preparing the sheep for the slaughter. We are disillusioned into believing that we can be physical with him because we know later it will go somewhere. We convince ourselves our body is his now no sense in waiting. Wrong!
Trust your gut you know it is not you he wants when he speaks it is to the love below. We have to be aware of key cues. When you talk to him is he engaging you with his eye contact and body language. When you look into his eyes are they filled with the desire to explore your mind or just your body. Often when we have been out of the dating game for a minute we tend to make rookie mistakes. Such as giving it up too soon. Make him wait especially if you are confusing your expectations with his intent. If you two are not on the same page then the situation is null and void.
Be wary of his attempts to convince you there is a potential for more. He will thwart of any talk of him just wanting sex. It is rare a man will blatantly say baby I just want to have sex with you. In return you should be honest and say I want a relationship. Often we try and choose our words carefully as to avoid scaring him off. We don’t give men enough credit they have honed in on exactly what we want and decided to persuade us to go along with their plan as it suits their needs. Ladies don’t be mad we use the same trickery using our sex as a weapon. When the only one getting hurt is us.
Both sexes need to stop the madness. Stand your ground. If you just want to be friends don’t sleep with him in that stage. No matter how long it takes do not give in. How can he respect your position when you don’t? This doesn’t mean you will get what you but at least you can walk away with your head held high and your dignity intact.
Dating is often a cat and mouse game he likes a challenge so give him a good run. Don’t just lay there and take whatever is being offered to you. It is not enough he likes you. You want to be the woman he needs mind, body, and soul. Do not use being alone as a symptom of loneliness. Set the standard and never lower it otherwise you will never get what you want and need.
Do you feel as if you are being typecast? What are you going to do about it? Share your thoughts below.