Do you have a “friend” in your life? Please play special attention to the quotation marks. It is a means to differentiate between a friend and a “friend”. Let me explain a friend is someone who you willingly accept can blackmail you with your dating history and a “friend” is someone which of whom you should NEVER disclose your past/present and or future with under any circumstances. Especially, since many of us coin the term “friend” with someone we see as a potential mate. In laymen’s term a “friend” should be a potential sex partner and should never intermingle with the term a potential mate. In the event the two terms cross paths the term “friend” cease to exist and it replaced with either mate or the “friendship” is null and void. Keep it real simple people. Look at it from a logistical stance.
Ladies look it at from a man’s standpoint. He will not tell his “friend” everything. He knows how to keep things sacred for himself. If they are able to decipher the “friend” code than so should we. We always think we have to be so forthcoming since we are sleeping with him. The more information you give them the more ammunition they have to use against you later. Your “friend” is not your friend so stop make him privy to every facet of you. If you want to make your “friend” your man you have to keep an air of mystery about you. Telling your “friend” everything leaves a stench of desperation which reeks miles away. He will listen as if concerned but you are practically tying the noose around your next in the potential sex partner category never being granted access into the potential mate category.
Experience is an ruthless teacher. Aren’t you tired of being just a “friend”? Today I asked a “friend” why I was just a “friend” and he refused to answer me. Truth be told I need to answer that one myself. Stop having these pretend relationships with your “friend”. Quit fooling yourself into thinking he will come out of his “friend” coma and bestow you the title of his queen. Quit dreaming!
It is time to Woman Up aren’t you tired of looming in the infamous “friend” zone. At least if he was your real friend you would last more than a season or reason. Your friendship would last a lifetime.
Stop selling yourself short. Stop letting your insecurities play out with your “friend”. He does not care as long as the milk is free he sees no point of purchasing the cow. Moo-ve on woman. Ladies why do we fool ourselves into believing we want a “friend” in the first place. Who conjured up the idea of sleeping together without any emotional attachments? Obviously, we have foolishly and naively fell into the pit of despair. Men and women can be friends but they cannot be “friends”. “Friends” has an expiration date. The shelf life on a “friendship” get stale pretty fast.
Stop the madness you want a man, a husband, a confidant, not some “friend” that will discard you and all your little emotions. I am speaking from experience. I had a friend that cared for me deeply and I was oblivious to that fact. One day I decided that he should be my “friend”. As my friend I had a solid foundation with him. But no I wanted a “friend”. Any romantic desires he had dissipated once I bestowed him the title of “friend”. Needless to say once I became emotionally attached to my “friend” and I lost him. I needed him so bad to be my man that I forgot to be the woman and friend he needed.
So I say this now I don’t need a “friend” I need a friend and a lover. So one who I can confide in and safely be vulnerable around. Someone who will be the friend I need to push me down the path when I fall journeying through my purpose driven life.
Are you stuck in the “friend” zone? Share your thoughts below.