Journey of Self-Love

Masturbation is a taboo subject when we discuss sex. Often it is an overlooked form of pleasure for the next two weeks I will explore masturbation.

Currently I am reading “Tickle Your Fancy”. It is opening my eyes to masturbation in a whole new light. I need help learning to accept masturbation as an alternative to sex. I want to learn to embrace my body as a temple. One that I can please myself.

I have always viewed masturbation as unhealthy, in fact it has always conjured up unhealthy feelings of shame, embarrassment, and has always been shrouded in secrecy.

This book is teaching me how healthy masturbation can be. There are three reasons that speak to me personally.

First, it boosts self esteem because it creates self-confidence. It enables you to overcome personal inhibitions and fulfill your sexual desires. I have been self conscious of my sexual self. I can never let down my guard and allow things to be pleasurable for both of us. My focal point has always been on him. I always want to get him off in fact I almost didn’t purchase this book because of my strong focus on him. But I knew I needed to learn to focus on myself sexually. I want to feel confident in myself in the bedroom. I know I can please him but then who is pleasing me. A light bulb went off I have to learn to please me before I delve deep into pleasing him.

There also physiological benefits regular orgasms induce a state of peaceful relaxation by releasing your body’s pleasure chemicals, called endorphins, from the brain. Orgasms scare the hell out of me. The loss of control is terrifying. The first time I had one I thought I was having a heart attack. The way my body seized uncontrollably scared me to death. I never wanted it to happen again and have been hell bent on preventing it every since. Crazy right?

Lastly, you can choose to be abstinent. Masturbation provides sexual release without the need for a partner. I feel ashamed alone so I have to involve a partner. When I was young I did not know masturbation was healthy. No one explained to me it was a healthy sexual release ever. I learned that later in life but I always believed real sex involves two people always.

Many things we learn early on remain etched in our memory banks. These things are often resistant to ideal changes. Touching yourself was always weird and I have to reprogram that way of thinking. I hope this journey enables me to see masturbation as both healthy and natural.

Is masturbation healthy? Why or why not? Share your thoughts below.

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3 thoughts on “Journey of Self-Love

  1. Personally, I’ve never seen it as an unhealthy thing to do, physically or emotionally. Our moral culture loves to send mixed messages, like telling you that masturbation is perfectly normal… but you shouldn’t do it because it’s selfish and you shouldn’t be having sex with yourself – that’s what marriage is for – and similar bullshit to that nature.

    It’s a shame you have to learn how good masturbation is from a book; I know a lot of parents are loathe to discuss this with their children growing up, other than telling them to keep their legs closed or to keep it in their pants, thereby not giving kids a perfectly normal “out” – teen, get thyself off! I know too many women who can’t or won’t masturbate because of the shame they feel behind it – and some of the reasons I’ve heard why they don’t are so sad they’ve left me with lumps in my throat because I hurt so much for them in this.

    I put it to folks this way: If you can’t have sex with yourself, there’s something really wrong. Indeed, the women I know who can’t or don’t masturbate have problems having sex with someone, mostly along the lines of feelings of inadequacy; their partners have major problems satisfying them… and mostly because they don’t know their bodies well enough to tell them which buttons to push… because they’ve been taught to never push those buttons themselves.

    To be honest, I don’t know many guys who have issues with masturbation – I know I never did and, really, it doesn’t make sense to have issues about it; people will make you feel bad about it because they feel bad about it – and misery just loves company. Besides, as I said in my own blog about this very same subject, it’s my dick… and you’re gonna tell me I can’t mess with it? I think you know where you can shove such a ridiculous notion…

    My son-in-law was once two minutes away from spending some time in the local ICU because he was giving my daughter a raft of shit… because she was masturbating and he wasn’t invited. You see, I taught her that masturbation was just fine and dandy, something she didn’t need anyone else to help her with and something she could do just for herself and to have that clown she’s married to actually forbid her to masturbate? The boy was going to catch a very bad break and in a very bad way. I found out later that his parents didn’t allow masturbation and did and said all the usual things to make it very taboo behavior and I guess he figured that since he was raised that way, she had to see things his way… and it almost got him hurt.

    To deny yourself the pleasure of masturbating just doesn’t make any sense and more so since these days, having sex with someone could very well be a death sentence or something much worse than that. And really, if you can’t have sex with yourself, who can you have sex with?

    Great posting; will you come back at a later date and share your progress?

    • I have always been bashful about masturbating. I always fear getting caught and can never fully enjoy my experience. But I am determined to combat my fears. I will update my progress in a later post. Thanks for your feedback.

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