Today starts the beginning of my 30 day dating diet. As I mentioned in a previous post I have taken a hiatus from dating. I want to blog about my journey through this process.
Take this morning for example I saw my sweetie. I flirted a lot but nothing further. I want to fight the urge so flirting although innocent I know it can lead to more. I won’t be doing any house visits anytime soon. I want to focus on connection with intimacy on my own without a man for a while. My period of abstinence will give me time to focus on greater things than a quick fix. I have to refuse to settle no matter what the cost. Yes some days will be damn near impossible to get through I know I can manage.
Intimacy is so important. It is so beautiful when you can connect with someone without opening your legs. To have someone enamored with you through the mental and spiritual is definitely sexy. It makes one feel so much more worthy in the dating world. It isn’t so much about holding out versus holding onto your values and totally focusing on YOU.
How can you achieve intimacy with someone else if you can’t achieve it with you? I feel so sexy focusing on me. I feel more comfortable around a man without thinking about sex. To be frank it occasionally crosses my mind. But I know I must throw myself into other things besides a man. That’s the story of my past life. Case in point there is a colleague of mine that I am infatuated with his intellectual presence. I toy with having an intellectual conversation with him where he sees my brain muscles flex. I want to take sex out of the equation because I want to be taken seriously. I am not some dumb sex kitten. When I open my mouth to speak I want attentive ears and eyes on me. I don’t want the focal point to be my voluptuous figure. When I speak I want to be both seen and heard. I want to challenge his mental give him an orgasm in the brain. For that’s how I will leave an indelible mark in his memory bank.
This hiatus is about more than just sex. It is about me taking myself seriously. About me knowing my true worth is more than a pair of sexy eyes and thighs. Many people think I am just a temptress but I know I represent more than that. I am enduring a growth process that is long overdue. I am coming back to the essence of loving me. I love how confident I am when I walk into a room now. I feel a sense of pride in my walk and talk. I am more than a woman with potential I am utilizing my skills and they are benefiting me greatly.
My metamorphosis is more than modest clothing and natural look. It is reflecting a mental and spiritual growth. I am not allowing people to see me sweat I am handling life of my own terms. A man will be welcomed into my life at a later time. Right now I am enjoying my own company. It feels good when approached to firmly turn down advances without guilt. I am respecting my own boundaries not just stating them because they sound good.
Have you raised the bar on yourself? What standards have you set? Share your thoughts below.