Purpose without Focus is Dead!

This weekend the purpose of my blog was tested. I have to take my job as a relationship blogger/columnist seriously. Case in point Saturday I was at a party for the Cotto-Mayweather fight. As soon as I walked in one of the male party goers informs the room I write a sex column for The Trentonian. It gets quiet and all eyes are on me. I was dumbfounded. So I retort why would you put me on blast like that? He says you put yourself on blast putting it in the paper. I thought about it and agreed. But I was still furious about him saying that I didn’t want people thinking I am some freak of nature. So I corrected him on the spot I informed him I am a relationship blogger/columnist and I cover relationship issues which occasionally lead to the topic of sex. I was unabashed and proud I stood up for myself.  Of course a barrage of questions ensued are you single? Why don’t you have a man? Like let’s be realistic how awkward would it be I have a man and I am discussing sex tips for men. I mean come on let the single me be free to tackle the relationship world alone. As if I am somehow incomplete without a man.
Now if I had a man my conversation would be different as my experiences would be as well. My blog is a source of learning and growth for me. For a long time I was content with the second spot. Now when I think about it I was a jumpoff, perish the thought. I could relate to that topic so much because I played that role countless times. For so long in my blog I was trapped and stood in my own way. I couldn’t find myself because I wasn’t really looking for me I was looking for him. I needed a man more than I needed me.
The purpose of Loverz Quarrel is more about us working as a cohesive unit to better our relationships and less about all that quarreling in between. In the beginning it was about teaching through my trials and errors of dating. Yet I had to realize the significance and impact of my erroneous choices. I had to not only learn from them but grow from them as well. Hypocrisy was not allowed I could ot preach the dating gospel if I was not a student myself. I cannot sit on some pedestal and act as if my dating hiatus derived from an epiphany I had more like it came from a slew of bad decisions. I was forced to stop dating. Emotionally unavailable men were draining me emotionally. The emotion I needed to care and nurture me was being purposefully neglected by me. In my blog I would be redundant and unmotivated to change the error of my ways. It’s about damn time I saw the light. I was suffering and dying in the same breath. Only I could resuscitate myself. I had to crawl back to the mirror and face my ugly self that ugly, insecure, and needy woman that wanted your attention more than appreciation. The woman that could not call herself beautiful before she desperately waited for the words to leave your lips. I needed you to beautify me.
Loverz Quarrel is as much for my growth and yours. I want to trash a lot of the past blogs I wrote but that will stunt my future growth. I need you to see the cocoon of self-hatred I was wrapped in for so long. It is a wonder I still have a loyal audience at all. Thank you all. So my mission is to practice what I preach. I want to be undaunted in the face of the critics. Loverz Quarrel is about more than sex, it is about the intimacy we find together. We don’t need to make up exuberant rules just do what works. My mission is to touch deep in your soul with my words and experiences and with a few mistakes sprinkled here and there. My mission is to teach you to trust you and know that what you want trumps everything else. Stop doubting yourself if you know that relationship is disastrous end it. Preserve your sexy at all cost. Never sacrifice what matters most to you for those who don’t matter.
Bloggers unite! What is the purpose of your blog? Are you will to stand by your brand no matter what? Share your thoughts below.


5 thoughts on “Purpose without Focus is Dead!

  1. I stand by everything I say in my blog and anyone who doesn’t like what I have to say can unsubscribe and go read someone else’s blog…

    Interesting that you got some “unwanted” attention after being put on blast; that says something I’m gonna have to think about for a few…

  2. Good read. I’ve often found that many expect relationship bloggers to own the magic formula or something and be outspoken and judgmental when, in reality, it’s usually one person revealing aspects of their past, present and hopeful future, as we all are capable. Most of the tips and pointers I’ve learned in my lifetime usually come from hearing stories of others i.e. what worked, didn’t work.

    Far as my blog, I consider it to be very personal and essential for my mental and emotional growth as a human being. At times, I provide entertainment. But the writings are for me and perhaps those who are able to relate to a certain topic of sort.

    • By no means would I proclaim to be an expert. But I need to take myself and my blog more seriously. I have to stand by my brand. I want to help someone get through without having to go through the trials and tribulations. Lesson are hard to bounce from the further in life we get. Thankfully, I learned my lesson finally and can still have room to help someone who now stands where I once stood.

  3. I’m thinking that the reaction you got – after someone ratted you out – might have been due to some illogical premise that single women have no business talking about sex and relationships and that if they are – and they’re using their own life experiences (as well as other sources) to put the word out there, well, she must need a man; if she had a man, she wouldn’t be writing what she’s writing – and then doing it where anyone with the price of a newspaper can read it.

    I found this odd because instead of giving you props for being good at what you’re doing and getting your own spot in the local paper, they reacted as if you had broken a bunch of unspoken rules and, again, the reason why you did is you don’t have a man.

    And it’s “well-known” that women don’t like talking about sex unless they’re complaining about the quality, quantity, or the fact that a guy has the audacity to want to have sex with them.

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