There are many fallacies we commit in dating. We know there are problems yet we refuse to address them. You can be factitious with your girls but you cannot continuously lie to yourself. In this post I will address three major mishaps that often occur in relationships. I will also point out the ways to rectify them.
Dating men based on your OWN expectations, instead of the REALITY he presents.
How many times have you or your girls proclaimed he wasn’t like that in the beginning? You are well aware of whom he is based on his actions yet you take on the arduous task of making and molding him into the man you want him to be. Then, when he reverts back to his old ways you act shocked. We have to stop ignoring a man’s true colors.
Play or Be Played Rule #3
When a man’s nonverbal language tells you what he is about, you better accept it.
Three simple ways to know that he is into you:
He makes direct eye contact with you.
He uses elaborate hand gestures when he is talking to you (this exudes confidence in what he is saying).
Everything he is saying to you can actually be verified.
Being in denial.
This is the biggest mistake women make when dealing with relationship issues. Unfortunately, society has made denial a comfortable place to be. Men are forced to deal with the consequences of their actions immediately. Women on the other hand have temporary safe houses. Denial like cancer eventually catches up to you. Initially you can ignore it, and it continues to take over your body, it eventually becomes inoperable.
A woman with game knows how to be honest with HERSELF when she sees that something she is doing in her relationship is wrong. She will immediately rectify the situation at all cost. Even if it means temporary pain, she needs to maintain her sexy for decades to come.
Immediate Pleasure vs. Immediate Pain
Ladies we have two choices when dealing with immediate pain.
a) Want to get immediate pleasure, but suffer longtime pain, or
b) Withstand immediate pain, so that it will lead to long-term pleasure?
In many cases, we get so complacent with being in their comfort zone, equate temporary discomfort with pain. Just because it is giving you comfort, doesn’t mean it is good for you in the long run. Never run and hide because the beat goes on with or without you. Thus, leaving you to deal with the effects and consequences of the world around you.
Don’t try to dominating your relationships.
This is rampant in society, but even more so in the black community. There are three categories of relationship power structures:
In this relationship the man and woman are on a leveled playing field. Remember male leadership is not synonymous with female oppression. Let him lead and you support.
In this relationship the man controls everything. Women in these types of relationships are looking for a Daddy not a man. This is where the Sugar Daddy thrives.
The woman is basically running everything and calling the shots.
Tip #5 on how women can have game:
Learn to realize and accept when something isn’t working for you. Stop beating a dead horse. Let that horse go.
What common mistakes are you making in your relationships? What kind of relationships have or are you in? Share your thoughts below.