Can a relationship survive without an argument?

Is arguing a natural part of every relationship? Arguing in a relationship is one of those things I detest. I always felt like arguing always leads to a physical altercation. I do not like to argue because I feel like I cannot think when a verbal exchange goes awry. Yet I am learning daily that an argument is a necessary evil.

I feel like you have to argue every now and then as long as it is a clean fight. No name calling or hitting below the belt. I think the problem with arguing is we don’t want to be vulnerable so we fight dirty. Instead of saying when you yell at me about wanting to go out with my friends it makes me feel like you don’t respect our time apart we say you are too controlling and possessive. We are often afraid to say how we truly feel. How will our needs ever get met if we never say what we really want?

I believe that arguing is a natural part of every relationship. It is natural because we don’t always communicate our feelings very well. Let me give you another example my boyfriend would have an issue with me going to bars, social clubs, or anywhere else to do poetry. Instead of telling me this he would argue with me every time I went to do a show. Now I could have said you are being selfish and getting in the way of my dream. But I fell on my sword and said to him these are the places where these shows are held you are more than welcome to come along and watch me perform there. We are not perfect but I have learned how to fight fair. I have learned that talking about how I really feel helps us tremendously.

We still have arguments like other couples but the goal is always the same to get our needs met in a fair way. I think the key to less arguing is more communicating how you feel about various issues. Don’t be afraid to bring them up don’t wait till all hell breaks loose to come out with guns blazing. It is not fair to either of you always if you have to argue keep it clean. You are only allowed to talk about what is bothering you in that moment. Don’t rehash old fights it takes away from the matter at hand.  If you cannot keep it clean then keep silent until cooler heads prevail. You have to be willing to listen in a way that you are receptive to what your mate is saying.


Does arguing feel unnatural to you? Why or why not? How do you fight? Share your thoughts below.



5 thoughts on “Can a relationship survive without an argument?

  1. I have read some of your other posts and I believe you hold a very idealistic view of relationships. Whilst arguing that spirals into violence, verbal abuse, or saying hurtful things s is damaging to any relationship, an argument nonetheless is a sign that communication is happening. Arguing means that each communicator has a different perspective of what is being said and by discussing it the issue can only be resolved. Without arguing then no communication is happening and to me is analogous to having a relationship to Ward and June Cleaver.

  2. This is one of the things I think about a lot with my relationship with my husband. We are two different people, and a lot of the time, we have differing opinions and ways of handling things. And, although our fights suck, I do think it’s a necessary evil. The thing is, though, is how you argue or disagree. We’ve been coming to the point in our relationship when we are trying to be more respectful and responsible when we disagree.

    It can’t be rainbows and butterflies all the time. But, when those sucky moments do happen, I say just try to eliminate the heated discussions and yelling or violence.

    I have a blog full of more adventures in married life, if you’re interested in reading more on my POV:

  3. Fighting is the key ingredient in breeding passion. From passion comes love. Deep love. Earth-shattering, appetite-destroying, sleep-losing, skin-burning, can’t-live-life-without-each-other love.

  4. Want to know more about love and its hidden realities? Our Website material are stocked with love and they can surely mend up your precious relationships.Reading to our content will provide you inner peace as well as satisfaction.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s