Has courtship lost it’s luster to dating?

Has courtship lost its shine since casual dating is so prevalent? Do we cover the bases anymore or do we immediately knock it out the park? First, let’s explore what courtship entails:

1.       Courting One on One.

         Try courting one person at a             time.

2.       Let the man lead the way.

          Ladies let him drive.

3.       Take it one base at a time.

You don’t have to save it for marriage but at least commit your mind and heart before your bodies collide.

Now let’s explore what dating entails:

1.       Dating is for sport so get more than one player involved.

Dating should be with as many people as you can juggle without feeling overwhelmed. Dating is non-committal although if you date more than one person how can really connect emotionally to know if they are worth the commitment.

2.       Set clear boundary lines.

Always make it clear where you stand and what you want. Never compromise on that. It would be nice if you two (or three) were on the same page but as we know this is not a perfect world.

3.       Move On or Move Out

Once you have set boundaries you’ll know whether or not you two are moving in the same direction. If so proceed cautiously if not keep dating and have fun!

Now for both dating and courtship there are many differences. For example dating is a temporary place versus courtship being an actual relationship. When dating you maintain a single status until you decide to take it to the next level. The goals are different too when in courtship the goal is marriage and in dating the goal is getting to know you.  In dating your relationship is open to interpretation friends with benefits, just friends, or boyfriend-girlfriend. In courtship you become best friends because the goal again is a lifetime mate.

On many levels dating has took the shine off of courting and basically making it obsolete.  We need to stop rushing to the bedroom and try taking our time making it out the altar. That is why we have so many failed marriages we do not connect like we should. That is why it entails commitment before intimacy. No one is saying wait forever but really get to know a person don’t connect physically with someone you don’t know emotionally. When two people are intimate at least one if not both walk away connected. It is not as simple as a roll in the hay and then you dust yourself off.

Has dating taken away the shine of courtship? Would you like a courtship or do you prefer to date? Which do you practice? Share your thoughts below.

 

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8 thoughts on “Has courtship lost it’s luster to dating?

  1. Courtship has definitely been pushed to the way side, especially with the present young generation (those who are in their 20s) They tend to skip that step and move forward quickly, I have an old school mindset and want to take it back to the olden days and let the male work for me, but it’s so rough living in this era where men feel as if all the extra things are so unnecessary.

  2. I’ve never been good at dating multiple people… I just don’t have it in me to juggle that way. I have either been single and getting to know multiple people through majority conversation, or I am seeing someone exclusively (at least on my end) until we go our separate ways or end up in a relationship…. I told myself I am going to practice this.

    Great post!

  3. Pingback: Take a note from Katy Perry’s retro courtship | Sarah Britton Miller

  4. This really in an informative post to read out man. You have wonderfully described useful things here. I have got a lot from it.

  5. On many levels dating has took the shine off of courting and basically making it obsolete. We need to stop rushing to the bedroom and try taking our time making it out the altar. That is why we have so many failed marriages we do not connect like we should. That is why it entails commitment before intimacy.

  6. Growing up, it was made clear to me that dating and courting were two different things; you were to date women so you could decide whether or not to court them. Courtship required patience and determination if you were gonna successfully woo her into considering engagement and marriage.

    Now it seems as if dating has kicked courting to the curb, like no one has the patience to court or be courted and I agree that the rush to instant gratification makes us miss the courtship stage that starts to build intimacy at many levels.

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