Liberation Party

Tired of living in someone elses happiness? For most of my life
I have lived in someone elses happiness. Always thinking about
what he wanted and needed. Selfless with love never thought to
give it to myself. Now I feel liberated and want to scream out
loud. There is no feeling like being free. When your mind is made
up and your heart is in the right place.

For the first time in a long time I am not emotionally attached
to any man except God. That feels so good. I am not torn between
focus on me and my goals and catering to him and his needs. He
doesnt exist in my life anymore and it feels good. I have been
single for five years but my heart got caught up big time a while
back. I kept doing this backward-forward movement reverting back
to the same nonsense. If I am honest with myself I cannot say
either of us really loved one another. I think we just enjoyed
our incredible chemistry. We were definitely a brush fire that
spread for miles on end. That kind of chemistry is dangerous.
Jealousy reared her ugly head a number of times as well as
insecurity.

We went through a lot of things together I will not speak ill of
him for we remain friends to this day. But I am through with him
I finally have allowed myself to let go of a love I never had. I
want and need a man who will be mine without any hesitations or
limitations. His love wont be conditional, he will love me
unconditionally flaws and all. I paralyzed my growth for this man
for the years we spent together. Time for me to grow up and move
on.

It feels so good to truly let go and not linger on hopelessly.