Double Replay

In the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” we meet  Anna, an
attractive girl, who meets Ben, an attractive older married man,
while still keeping in contact with Conor, the rebound guy. In
today’s piece we will touch on the relationship between the
jilted girl and the rebound guy. You know that lovable,
dependable, and tons of cuddling guy that is always there for
you. But of course as fate would have it you do not want any
relational ties to him. It is like you have an eating disorder
and he is your fixated comfort food when all else fails.

In “He’s Just Not That Into You” Anna has been seeing Conor for a
while but she is not really into him. He is her comfort zone guy.
He makes her feel completely at ease with him like she can always
be herself around him. They began drifting apart and Ben captures
her attention and drives her crazy. She is so smitten by Ben that
she began dating him while fully aware he is married. She even
bought into the delusional concept that he will leave his wife
for her. How preposterous is that? Needless to say they break up
and Anna is left heartbroken and confused. She looks for her
comfort and finds it in Conor. She even belittles herself by
offering him pity sex and he happily obliges. Guilt ridden she
informs him that this law of attraction is only one –sided in
their case. It is now Conor’s turn to be hurt and dejected.

Art often imitates life I was in a situation like this years ago.
I had been involved for a number of years with my Mr. Big (we
will get more into this topic next week) when I met Mr. Right
Now. He said and did all the things Big would not. He made me
feel beautiful and loved. Everything I could not get from Big Mr.
Right Now gave me and more. I was not in love with Mr. Right Now
just the things he offered me love, devotion, security, and
respect. He held me on a pedestal although I always felt so
undeserving. Guilt consumed me because I cheated on Mr. Right Now
with Big. Mr. Right Now never stood a chance for all he would
ever be was a seat filler. Not surprisingly our relationship
ended badly Mr. Right Now and I did not part amicably.  Nor did
Big and I but that is a piece for another day.

Settling is not and never should be considered an option. We all
(prayerfully) know what we truly want in a mate. We know what is
on our relationship checklist whether it is mental or in black
and white. Do not waste time on a rebound relationship. You have
to give yourself to mourn and heal from the hurt of a
relationship that has passed. If you do not go through the
grieving process properly you will end up in the arms or Mr.
Right Now instead of Mr. Right. As with any death you have to
mourn it for a period of time to truly understand why it was a
necessary evil. Once you truly heal you eyes and heart will be
open to the possibility of an unadulterated love.