Give It Up and Turn Those Legs Loose

Do you overanalyze the fact the man you’re dating wants to sleep with you? Do you deem him as being perverted because of his primal need? Did it ever occur to you want him as much as he wants you? It is nighttime, stars shining and the moon is beaming. You two lay there cuddling together as he gently caresses you with his thick fingers. You become excited as does he but you deny him what you want so badly. Why even put yourself in that situation? If it is natural for us to feel frisky why is it unnatural for them?

Stop lying to yourself. I am not saying to act out impulsively every time but at least acknowledge your true feelings. Be true to yourself. Dare I say it give that man some. Stop denying what you both want. We are mature adults. Ladies admit it we know within the first five minutes of meeting a man what we want to do with him. The choice is yours! Stop thinking so damn much have some spontaneity to you. What the hell are you doing all those kegals for you have him so use him? All you are going to do is go home at night and use your toy or a hot shower or bath. Knowing you’re just teasing the hell out of you. If you do not want to be tempted do not spend time in his lair or yours?

This reminds me of my favorite movie “Love Jones” the scene where it was a hot summer night and Nina and Darius decided, well Nina decided they were not going to have sex that night. Lying there alone was torturing them along with the seemingly torturous heat. Of course lower heads prevailed otherwise there would have probably been some serious human combustion. You know the routine you want to feel like you’re saving something. Then you are walking around all worked up and aggravated. When you both know sexual healing can conquer angry emotions. I have never understood why some women deny men the obvious why do you have a man. Guilty as charged of using coochie control on him. Actually rationing out sex, what is that all about? There is nothing wrong with desiring sex and receiving it regularly. I hear outlandish stories of these things called coochie lockouts.

Ladies how do YOU manage during these arduous times? I am sure you suffer more than he does especially if he doesn’t chase he replaces. Granted there are foolish men out there who have women who are ready, willing and able anytime and anyplace and these fools will creep anyway. There is no hope for these fools. Now moving on, ladies we cannot be naïve men have needs just as we do. Do not deny them so much. Granted there are times when we are not in the mood that is cool. It even happens to them although that sounds strange especially when it is heard aloud. Oops was that a sexist statement. Sorry boys! I mean MEN.

The bottom line is our coochie I.O.U.s will expire very quickly. He will move on more quickly than you can recover. Give that man and yourself that due sustenance. It is a part of both of your need for survival. Give it up and turn those legs loose. Do you hold out even when you want to give in? Share your thoughts below.

Cinematic Climax

Freaky Friday:  Which movie love scene would you like to emulate
if given a camera and the movie backdrop? Would you us the actual
actor or actress or would you use a stand in? Speak on it.

If I could re-create a nostalgic movie love scene moment it would
have to be DMX and Taral Hicks in Belly. Granted I love the slow
love-making process but there was so much emotion in the sex they
had. The way he took over her body and thrust into her with so
much rage and force like transferring his energy into her. He
drained her completely when it was all said and done.

Of course I would change my main man from DMX to someone who was
just as rugged and rough. Someone that could bring that anger and
passion to the bedroom with just the right balance of roughness
to it. In my scene he would hem me up against the wall while we
have a serious verbal exchange. Let me tell you guys how I do not
argue but when reenacting that scene I would bring the heat. All
up in one another faces until he grabs my face and kisses me
angrily forcing his tongue into my mouth while he scoops me up.
When we get to the bedroom he takes me and shoves me down still
arguing with me. Then, he pushes my legs apart and starts making
passionate, hardcore love to me putting his hand over my mouth to
let me know the arguing is over. Each stroke sends shockwaves
through my body. His intense emotions send shivers down my spine.

I also think that recreating a love scene will intensify the love
making in your relationship. I was just thinking about my
favorite love scene of all time and Belly was it. Figured I would
poll my audience and see what you all thought of creating your
own cinematic climax. If you like I have never tried this it will
be interesting to role play and get those creative juices
flowing. It does not matter which of you initiate this concept
just make sure you do the damn thing. Allow your inhibitions run

The Big Letter

Who is your Mr. Big? Who is your Mr. Big? Carrie’s dating plight made me realize I needed to write through my own dating woes. I figured writing would help me take a better approach on dating. I am so tired of all this disaster dating as I like to call it. Like Carrie I have dated quite a few characters but none of them stood out to me more than my Mr. Big. I decided to write my Mr. Big for here goes:

Dear Big,

It has been four years since we have seen or heard from one another. I see you have a blog and it is doing well I am so proud of you. I always knew you were destined for greatness. Being with you taught me a lot about me I learned everything I wanted in a man started when we first met on that bus stop in 2002. The man you were is the man I need in my life right now. You challenged me mentally. You observed my thirst for learning and challenged me to expound on that. You were supportive and motivated me beyond what I thought my capabilities were. I cannot say we were compatible because I cannot honestly say I was your match. Yet you were definitely my match constantly keeping me on my toes. At the time I was with you I was in a place where I did not really love myself and so I felt at times unworthy of your love. I was naïve about a lot of things. I did not full grasp what you were trying to teach me about myself.

Baby I still love you. I still care for you even when I reflect back to feeling like you were selfish because you would not give me a commitment. You wanted me to change the woman I was at the time into the woman I am now. I was not ready to make that change at that time. I had to grow and learn to develop into the woman I am today. One night emotions took over me and I finally unleashed on you. That night my emotions were too intense. I was on the brink of a breakdown. The dam finally broke the flood of emotions terrified me. It was that night that our saga ended.

Tears well up when I think about my missed opportunity I have never met someone who could uplift my mind, body and soul imultaneously. Big you are bigger than big your light shines boldly across a moonlight night. I miss you Big, miss how you cared for my daughter as if she were your own. Sorry Big that I ever doubted your love for me. Sorry I put another before you who paled in comparison.

Daily I pray God will send me an angel like you again. I pray that I get another chance at an amazing man. I just wanted to say you will always have a special place in my heart and I always wanted to be crowned your Queen of Sanity. I must digress because I know that there is a beauty that now holds that title. I have moved on and pray for your continued happiness. Love you always and forever.

Who you chose to deal with is a reflection of where you are or in some cases where you need to be. Big and I were not compatible because both of us were in different places. I was young still trying to find my way in life and discover who I was and where I wanted to be. He was already established and constantly seeking more and expected more out of his mate and that is why he never made me his girl. I was not where he thought his girl should be. I do not think this means he did not love me, he cared for me deeply but he wanted me to grow and at that point in my life I was not ready. I was like a teenager rebellious and unwillingly to change my wayward ways.

Sometimes I look back to that point in my life and it is often met with bittersweet fondness. I feel blessed for having met him and the impact he made in my life. He taught me what my man should be. What I should expect from him and what he should expect from me? He taught me how to learn to love the beauty that is me. Most of all he taught me that I am worthy of love but most of that love should come from within.

She’s Just Not That Into You

Battle of the Sexes: Men, why do you think she’s not sleeping with you? You are playing the waiting game while in her head she is saying you are never going to get it. Could this be a sign she’s just not that into you?

In the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You” Anna had a friends with benefit situation with Conor for a while and then suddenly without any warning or notice the benefits stopped. Conor does not get that Anna is just that into him anymore. He puts everything on the line since he has been pining for her all along only to be rejected in his face.

I met a guy who on paper seemed like the perfect catch for me. Yet I was not attracted to him. I went out on a few dates to see what he was about. I was thinking maybe I was too judgmental initially. One night he had a nice room setup a nice scenery with the rose petals and candles and dinner for two. He was an excellent cook by the way. After dinner we sipped and chatted. He moved in for the kiss but it lacked passion. Nothing clicked believe me I tried to conjure up something. I felt so bad that I lacked any passion for him. He really tried hard. Eventually, I had to tell him straight out we are just friends and I do not want anything from you other than your friendship. I told him that I am just not that into you. He was hurt but I felt good knowing I was honest with him and more importantly honest with myself.

Similar to the movie you can only fake it for so long. You have to admit to yourself and that person that you are just not into them. Even if the sex did occur it would be empty and meaningless. If it did not happen chances are it won’t happen. Now I know someone will say there are people who are genuinely abstaining from sex for their own personal reasons. Kudos! Now for those ladies that are abstaining from sex with that one particular guy while the other guy has you climbing the walls you know that I am talking to you.

Men simply put she is not feeling you. When a woman is feeling you, she will give into your innuendo in fact if she is really  into she will find you simply irresistible and will not be able to wait. She will give you that come hither look. The long gaze and extended out that index finger and she will be particularly daring you and your drooling gaze back to the lair for consumption.

Good Time Gal



Can being a freak ever be a bad thing? You want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed right?

Well why are so many men intimidated by a woman with a carnivorous attitude toward sex? She wants it morning, noon, and night and in between time. Wake up tapping you on the shoulder. You tell her she is too freaky and assume when you don’t give her any she must be getting it elsewhere.

Ladies, you are with your man and your want some alone time. You get all prim and proper for your love-making session. You go one round and he is done. But you still have more energy he tells you no. Yes!!! Girl, he actually formed his lips to say no!! He tells you that you need to calm down and stop being so freaky. How disheartening is that? When you are around your man you want to be able to be yourself.

Being a freak is not synonymous with promiscuity.

You cannot begin to fathom how torturous it is to be a woman with a high sex drive trying to find a man who will not find your libido to be emasculating.

Many men are intimidated by a woman like this. It defies all logic that a woman can want it as much if not more than a man. The woman is never supposed to ask for it that is his job.

Think about it like this, it’s like asking a girl out for the first time and getting shot down. It takes so much for us to ask for it. For some of us, we wrongly assume you always want it. So when we ask and you reject us it can be devastating.

I can recall a time where I was with my man and he had me revved up and ready to go and then he was like babe I have to go. I was pissed. If you think a woman teasing a man is terrible try being a woman and having a man tease you. It is a horrendous act that no man shall commit. Not everyone likes a tease.

Being a freak has often had a negative persona; in Rick James’s “Super freak” women who are freaks are informed they will not be brought home to meet Momma. You have to tone it down actually in a lot of cases, at least until he marries you and even then there is still some backlash. I read an interview with Zane years ago about women and their sexuality.

Most women are raised to be “good girls”.  To their men the “freaky stuff” is what “bad girls” do.

Personally, I believe women have both sides to them and may display them when the situation warrants it. I also believe that it is not as simple as being good or bad because there is definitely room for a gray area. No matter where we fall sexually we should be allowed to be ourselves. No woman should have to apologize for who she is sexually. You get to be you so allow me to be me. Take me as I am or have nothing at all.

Makes you wonder if you are a freak will you be single all your life. Constantly having to hide the woman you are inside.

Guys embrace your woman’s sexual side openly. Explore new things with her. Stop looking at her strange for her requests she can be your woman and your plaything rolled into one. These women exist so enjoy them. Why look on the side when you have the lady and the freak? Stop trying to reinvent the wheel she has already been created just for you. Welcome her with open arms don’t be scared she won’t bite unless you ask of course.

Ladies be you no matter what. Unleash the beast for that special man in your life and if he cannot handle it then move on. Never sacrifice your happiness for anyone.