Inspire You!

Monday Motivation

Be Your Own Inspiration!

Who or what inspires you the most? Many times in life we look to people or things to inspire us. Whether it is inspirational quotes or stories from others, or things that bring us inspiration like stones or plaques? While these are nice and inspirational we need to look to ourselves for a good source of inspiration.

The most attractive power is self-motivation. Everyone loves a self starter. One who can get going without anyone else’s encouragement.  I will admit I am guilty of waiting for someone else to push me toward success. I use to be a go-getter so I know it is embedded in my soul. But for whatever reason at this point in my life I lack self-motivation. It is so discouraging. Everyone else is doing it for themselves yet I am just watching and waiting for some cosmic event to get me started on my journey. Lord knows I do not need anymore major pitfalls to catapult me into success. I have to truly believe I am destined for greatness. There is no rest for the great ones. I have to plug away while my mind and body is young and fresh. I have to make wiser decisions which will have a domino affect in my life. Too many times I have been afraid to execute an excellent plan of action because I was afraid it might actually work. What would happen if I could really attain something as invaluable as getting my license? Or regaining my financial freedom? I have to truly push myself more than ever. All my procrastinating keeps me in failure status.

You cannot get complacent in misery. It makes for a strange bedfellow. We call it the comfort zone when really it is a dead zone where dreams are deferred and failure is inevitable. You have to want more for yourself. What makes you truly happy? It cannot be money or love. What gives you peace of mind? What truly makes me happy is that I can have financial freedom by properly preparing my budget and sticking to it. Any extra money goes straight into savings. I can be happy knowing I have money for a rainy day. The peace of mind is that I can look to myself in my time of need. Self sufficiency feels good.

So start today what has been holding you back? What have you been afraid to embark on? Share your thoughts below. 




Please Love Me

Are you aching for someone to love you?

Daily I struggle with learning to love myself. I am learning to look to myself for love. It is the little things I struggle with. Constantly I am looking for acceptance I want so bad for someone to love me so I don’t have to sit down and comfort myself. The other day I was walking around my old high school Trenton High and I was alone with my thoughts it drove me crazy. Today I had a conversation with my sister about feeling left out. Initially, I was frustrated with the situation from the stand point of they exclude me a lot more than they include me in things.

Never did it cross my mind when they include me in things I tend to isolate myself. I have always been awkward in social settings especially family gatherings. As much as I want to belong I am definitely a loner by choice. I am scared to let people in even family. Damn this is hard as hell to write. The tears won’t cease let me take a break.

Let’s resume I just want so badly to be loved that often I neglect myself. When it is just me it is hard to deal with life on life’s terms. Many times I try to escape my thoughts, fears, and insecurities. Even when writing this I am withholding a lot. I do not want you to know that I don’t love me. Although that is what my actions clearly show. My actions say I care more about you and what you think. I do not trust my own instincts, when and if I do I am always questioning myself. It is like I did not go to his house because I do not trust myself around him versus thinking I should have went anyway like how dare I have a noble bone in my body. How dare I stand up for me? Since when do I have rights, especially the right to say no? I always feel I am wrong for saying no to someone. I aim to please everyone but me.

I want to love him more than I want to love me. It keeps coming back to the same point I need to learn to love myself. When I face myself in the mirror my gaze often wavers and I cannot bring to look at me. I find everything wrong with me. I see the other girl everyone else sees. The one they pretend not to notice. The one guys just want to creep with on the low never professing their feeling aloud for the ugly girl. I have so many issues to deal with that I do not know where to begin. In my eyes I am hideous and unworthy of any love. Only God can love me.

It is not even so much about my exterior look it is about the feelings floating inside of me. Sometimes I daydream while looking at a pretty girl and wonder what it would be like to be pretty. How does that feel to be pleasing to the eyes? That is a foreign concept to me. So used to being the sweet, ugly girl in the background.

I know today I am all over but my feelings are all over. I want so badly to be loved but I do not know how to give that love back to myself. The truth be told I don’t want to love me. My flaws overflow so much they are bursting out of me like a dam that has imploded. I don’t want to face me I cannot look in the mirror and say I am beautiful when I know I am ugly. Ugly is a place of comfort for me. Failure lies on the other side of me. Strange bedfellows to most but comforting snuggle bunnies to me. I have come to the conclusion that I do not want to be happy. I don’t want to be loved because to truly love me is to know me and once he knows me he will run away from me. I don’t want success because people will expect greater things of me. I don’t want to disappoint their expectations of me.

As I said before this process is a daily one but even more specific it is a minute by minute effort on my part to learn to fall in love with me.

Have you ever loved someone more than you loved yourself? Are you running away from self-love?

Share your thoughts below.


Welcome LoverzQuarrel Readers… we have a guest blogger today. Ladies we get to get some insider info so pay attention.

Introducing Aug Dash…

The late Rick James coined the phrase, “Cocaine is a hell of a drug” maybe he got it wrong.  Hear me out, I’m not speaking from personal experience, but I do recognize the powerful and addictive effects of cocaine, but the initial interaction is a choice made by a particular person.  Two wise men from Moncks Corner, South Carolina the phrase, “The nootsie (pussy) is undefeated,” on their radio show and it stuck with me.  Once I digested the statement in its entirety, all I could say was “Damn.”

The lack of an initial choice makes the urge an impossible opponent.  The beginning is upon a prepubescent male the first time he finds himself erect without a cause.  It is from that day on that the chase for nootsie begins.  Now speaking from personal experience, growing up if the wind blew through my shorts at the right time, things happened.  The randomness of the flaccidity of the prepubescent phallus is both embarrassing and uncontrollable, but what drives it and how strong is the attraction?


Please do not twist the meaning of this post as an excuse for choices made by men in the past, present, and future. 

**Disclaimer end**

The urge affects the rich, just look at the athletes, entertainers, politicians, and executives felled by the irresistibility of the urge.  Bill Clinton, check.  Jesse James check.  Tiger Woods, check, check, check.  All three with decent (for their age group) looking wives all fell prey, but I say they weren’t chasing women, it just so happens that women own the nootsie.

Regular (not rich) men find themselves in predicaments connected to nootsie as well.  In my day, I need all fingers and toes to count the times where I was wrong…I mean dead wrong in the areas of town I traveled to, how I got there, my intentions, sometimes I didn’t even like the person but it kept calling me and calling me.  How do you say no to something often imitated but never duplicated?


Please do not twist the meaning of this post as an excuse for choices made by men in the past, present, and future. 

**Disclaimer end**

It’s not only men, as I am sure many of you have noticed the popularity of or same sex couples prevalent in society.  I say love is love (I’m not judging) some women feel the pull as well.

Some dudes will say I’m not like, to them I ask, have you ever said no to someone that you felt an attraction?  Of course we will hide behind our committed status (girlfriend, fiancé, or wife) but the urge is still there and if tested I mean really tested I wonder.  I know I could paint a scenario that would change many answers (at a later date).

I’ll wrap this up with these:

Various forms of cocaine served as dental anesthesia, (octocaine, lidocaine, and mepivacaine) they never use nootsie.

After prohibition, laws came about legalizing alcohol sales and consumption because men can tax, control and somewhat resist it…no such laws for nootsie. 

(Morals aside)  Imagine if all the women in the world got together and sold it for $50 a pop (when projecting money made through business I always project low, just saying).  The average pop would last what 20-25 minutes, maybe?  Say she puts in six hours a day, that’s $600 a day.  They would be the richest company in the world because of repeat customers the demand would never die.  They would be recession proof because men can’t resist.  (This could be why it’s not legal, lack of male control without looking like pimps).

Yep it’s undefeated.


Dance Fever

Ladies why do you dress sexy in the club only to come there and stand on the wall?

You barely notice the sexy men in the room because your nose is up in the air. Men have you ever been in the club and noticed a sexy lady in the club and you ask her to dance and she declines your request. Later you observe her again and she is still standing there grinding on the wall or one of her girls.

Ladies men appreciate seeing you all dolled up and want to approach you. Remember men are stimulated visually and in awe of how beautiful you look on any given club night. In their minds they do not see the logic in getting dressed up just to sit alone all night. They feel you might as well have stayed home.

Anti-social behavior is not cute in the club. Then some of you have the nerve to be upset that no one approached you. Shutting men down when they approach is a surefire way to get you on the she is dancing alone list for the night. Not to mention the mean scowls you have on your face in the club no one wants to talk to a woman that looks pissed off. He does not want to further piss you off. Keep a smile on your face and an open mind when enter the club.

One would like to believe you are there to enjoy yourself. Do not distract yourself about sweating out your weave that is what ponytail holders are for. You go to a club to dance and socialize. Let your hair down a little. Wind up your waist and drop it low and get your party on. Good times are ahead of you at the club. I am not guaranteeing you are going to find love in the club but at least go out to have a good time.