While listening to Beyonce’s cult hit Single Ladies as I bop to the eclectic electronic sounds I think about how we often say she ain’t me yet she is the one left holding the ring. It makes me wonder how do we that are left behind equate into the balance system of being marriage material?
Honestly, ladies are we marriage material? If we are why are we still very much single? Often we are involved in long relationship that only often amount to children without the ring. Now many of you will say marriage is over-rated and that many people rushing into it. I will say that you may have a valid point. But let’s focus on our single selves. Why is our single circle decreasing in size? Why are many of us sitting as spectators at the altar rather than standing there ourselves?
Now this piece is not a means to belittle single ladies everywhere but one has to wonder even secretly why did he marry her and not me? Often you have years vested with someone but what do you have to show for it? What did you bring to the table besides the obvious? We put way too much emphasis on the alleged power of the cookie. It does not hold as much weight as our delusional minds think. It does not matter how many chandeliers you hang upside down from this does not secure a ring. You have to undoubtedly prove yourself to be a worthy investment. What makes you think he wants to be stuck with you for the rest of his life?
Ladies we need to keep in mind that men are looking at us and our actions very carefully. We have to stop settling for quick fixes content with being the side girl and stand firm on being the one he can’t live without. Too many of us fall victim to the whole friends with benefits what man is going to take your seriously if you are giving it away to some random guy for free? He does not need to take you seriously because he can already see what a joke you are. Let’s face facts we are separate not equal in many facets of life. Yes he can sleep with many women and only allow one to capture his heart. Hell no you cannot do the same and yes you will be looked down upon. Double standards are alive and well so stay in your lane.
You want the golden ticket then baby you better earn it. Now the sure fire way to meet him is to stop looking for him. Yes we are tired of being by ourselves and want to feel like we belong to someone. Well try belonging to you make and mold you into a beautiful woman. Put time and energy on you. What are your goals in life? I am sure marriage is not the key to your happiness. If it is time for a re- evaluation, listen I am speaking from the heart. What I am telling you I am telling myself. Happiness is so necessary.
Respect your cookie! Stop giving it away to men who don’t matter and save it for the one who does.
Do you suffer from that infamous curse of the singlehood? Do
people stare at the S on your chest as if it is a Scarlet Letter
burning through your soul? People have been writing about us
forever. How they pity us and how we need to compromise our
standards to get the right guy? Well I say let me enjoy being
single. Stop looking me and my girls up and down as if we are
riddled with an infectious disease. It is called singlehood for
those of you in the company of misery try it sometimes. You might
Everyone is so hung up on titles, girlfriend, fiancée, and the
all important most prestigious one: wife. Growing up we are
taught to be good wives and mothers in that specific order. We
are never taught that single and happy are synonymous with one
another. We are taught stand by your man even if he pales in
comparison. As long as he is bringing home the bacon you are to
keep your mouth closed and your eyes on the children. In many
families there is that long tradition of unhappy, single women in
the family who everyone looks to with pitiful eyes. They are
feeling sorry that she is beyond marrying age and still single.
Sorry but that will not be me. I am single and loving it. I have
been single for 5 years and content with that. I enjoy the ups
and even the downs of dating. Yes one day I would like a
companion but until he comes along I will enjoy dating instead.
It pisses me off how desperate my committed sisters get staying
with men who have quite honestly never met their standards. If we
borrowed the guys rating scale she would be lucky if the pin hit
a five in the worst case scenario. These women are so desperate
for a title they will sacrifice their happiness just to say I
have a man. These women are the first to say to you single girl
at least I have a man. It is as if you are somehow less of a
woman for not having one by your side. Well let me go on the
record by saying I am more of a woman for not standing by a man
who is not worth my tears and added years. I am worth more for
saying I will stand alone until I am in the company of a man who
compliments me because no man could ever complete me. I am worth
more than loving a man more than I love myself.
It has gotten so bad that even men think the single friend is
venomous. I have been the single friend for five years and
sometimes I feel like public enemy number one. I refuse to give
advice because after all what do I know about relationships since
I don’t have a man. I mean get it together a woman being single
is a gift not a curse. Being happy should be your focal point
whether single or not. Happiness should prevail above all else.
Happiness should never be sacrificed or compromised. If you find
yourself placing it on a backburner it is time to reevaluate your
current situation. Stop looking at being single as if it is
something on your bucket list. Singlehood is a time where you can
really focus on you. You can be selfish with love for once and
give it all to you. When you know what you want you will not
settle for nonsense. If you are in a dead end situation weigh the
pros and cons of the situation. Make a list one side pro the
other con. When the bad outweigh the good you know what you need
to do. Let it go!