While listening to Beyonce’s cult hit Single Ladies as I bop to the eclectic electronic sounds I think about how we often say she ain’t me yet she is the one left holding the ring. It makes me wonder how do we that are left behind equate into the balance system of being marriage material?
Honestly, ladies are we marriage material? If we are why are we still very much single? Often we are involved in long relationship that only often amount to children without the ring. Now many of you will say marriage is over-rated and that many people rushing into it. I will say that you may have a valid point. But let’s focus on our single selves. Why is our single circle decreasing in size? Why are many of us sitting as spectators at the altar rather than standing there ourselves?
Now this piece is not a means to belittle single ladies everywhere but one has to wonder even secretly why did he marry her and not me? Often you have years vested with someone but what do you have to show for it? What did you bring to the table besides the obvious? We put way too much emphasis on the alleged power of the cookie. It does not hold as much weight as our delusional minds think. It does not matter how many chandeliers you hang upside down from this does not secure a ring. You have to undoubtedly prove yourself to be a worthy investment. What makes you think he wants to be stuck with you for the rest of his life?
Ladies we need to keep in mind that men are looking at us and our actions very carefully. We have to stop settling for quick fixes content with being the side girl and stand firm on being the one he can’t live without. Too many of us fall victim to the whole friends with benefits what man is going to take your seriously if you are giving it away to some random guy for free? He does not need to take you seriously because he can already see what a joke you are. Let’s face facts we are separate not equal in many facets of life. Yes he can sleep with many women and only allow one to capture his heart. Hell no you cannot do the same and yes you will be looked down upon. Double standards are alive and well so stay in your lane.
You want the golden ticket then baby you better earn it. Now the sure fire way to meet him is to stop looking for him. Yes we are tired of being by ourselves and want to feel like we belong to someone. Well try belonging to you make and mold you into a beautiful woman. Put time and energy on you. What are your goals in life? I am sure marriage is not the key to your happiness. If it is time for a re- evaluation, listen I am speaking from the heart. What I am telling you I am telling myself. Happiness is so necessary.
Respect your cookie! Stop giving it away to men who don’t matter and save it for the one who does.